What would happen if the universe were really unbalanced? Heaven knows we wouldn’t want an unbalanced universe, the Milky Way might spill onto Canus Major (dog star) who would growl at Ursa Major (big bear) and wake up Leo the lion, who would eat them all. Taurus the bull would get scared and butt heads with Aries the Ram.
The raucous would have the Gemini Twins running into the water for safety only to get pinched by Cancer the Crab. Then, Leo, burping and smacking from his meal would take a nap on the lap of Virgo, the virgin. Somehow, this would set things right and Virgo would then see that Libra, the scales had been balanced.
But not for long. Sneaking in from the shadows is Scorpio. Not liking balance the Scorpi0n/Eagle likes to dredge up the secrets and repressed weirdness of the gods so he stings the hind end of Sagittarius the centaur who kicks Scorpio in the stinger and gallops on. Meanwhile Scorpio goes off to sulk and think a little deeper. Sagittarius the Centaur runs right into Sea Monster Capricorn, half goat, half fish. Roe, Roe, Roe your boat. Ahem, sorry about that; I couldn’t help myself.
Capricorn, not a very good walker (no legs) and not a very good swimmer (top-heavy goat half) paddles and swishes his way out of the pond and away from the scary Centaur but gets shocked by waves of electricity pouring from the urn that Aquarius, the bearer, is holding. Why is it spilling out? Probably because Aquarians often have their head in the clouds, thinking about the future. To quote Yoda, ” I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph.” Very Aquarian ( I know, I am one.) “Oops! says Aquarius, then goes back to musing about something else.
Walking along, not paying attention, Aquarius steps into the pond and gets caught up in the ribbon that ties the Pisces fish together. Both fish trying to swim in opposite directions, very difficult and gets them nowhere. Aquarius tumbles and falls, and staggers out of the pond only to watch Aries the ram start the whole thing over again.
Okay, okay,done with astrology speak. Why I wrote all of that is unknown. It just had to come out. Since we are on the topic of Astrology, I’m going to say that in spite of anyone who poo poos it, there is something to astrology. That is, astrology practiced by a real astrologer, one who know the difference between a decanate and a node. I started learning astrology at my mother’s knee and have been learning ever since. It is self-evident. Not the columns you read in the paper or on the Internet, but real, in-depth astrology. Looking at a chart is a complex web of actions and interactions that weave the most intimate and intricate story about ourselves.
One of the most common misconceptions about astrology is that it is fortune telling, or fatalistic. That is absolutely false. Astrology shows our mind, feelings, trends, talents, tendencies, and our unconscious. It is the filter that we view the world from. Our filter governs our decisions. Our decisions determine our life. As a former psychologist and as an NLP practitioner, I have found astrology to be the most valuable and interesting tool in helping people understand their lives. Then, with understanding, there are ways to help them, as the WWII song says, “accent the positive; eliminate the negative.”
Each indication in our astrology map (chart) can be used in many ways. It is up to us to rise to our highest potential or sink to the lowest. That’s why change is possible. A good astrologer can change people’s lives, or at least show them the road to changing their own lives.
The problem with astrology is that it IS so complicated. It really takes study and diligence to “get it.” There are so many little pieces to put together as a whole and to integrate that many people think they don’t have the “right stuff.” I say balderdash. If you want to learn it you can. If you don’t, don’t even try. If you do go for it, a whole new world will open up. If not, there are other tools. Not, in my opinion as good as astrology, but useful nevertheless.
How does Astrology work? Who knows? I don’t know. I know it doesn’t have anything to do with physics as we know it now. It has to be something that science has yet to recognize. It is known that a lot of our behavior, and life trends occur in regular or semi-regular cycles. How does that work? Some astrologers have correlated these cycles to astrological configurations.
THE END OF THE WORLD!
Knowing a little astrology can be a dangerous thing. For example, the current 2012 bugaboo. So little understood and so much ranted to the heavens as our doom. Not really. 2012 will come and go like all the other years. It is the build up of the alignment that gives society a chance to change things so that when the alignment comes, all is in place to go on the next cycle. 2010 is more important than 2012.
I’ve had a not so serious theory about 2012 for sometime now. If the Mayan calendar ends there, why does it have to mean the end of the world? Maybe their civilization ended before they had a chance to carve another calendar. Maybe there is another calendar that we haven’t found yet. Maybe they were WRONG! If they were so good at predicting, how is it that their civilization fell to the Spanish?
Anyway, I’ve lived long enough to remember a lot of “it’s the end of the world” predictions. In fact, the end of the world has been predicted as far back (probably farther) as 44 AD.
44: Theudas declared the end of the world and led 400 people into the desert. The Romans tracked him down and beheaded everyone. Theudas was right. It was the end of the world–for them!
992: Bernard of Thuringia caused panic in the streets when he announced that his calculations showed that the world would end in 960. He died before that time came.
999: Many farmers didn’t plant crops, and public documents began with “As the world is drawing to a close. . . .” because of a prediction interpreting the biblical Apocrypha as meaning that the world would go at the end of that year because it was 1000 years after the birth of Christ.
1033: When 999 came and went, gloom and doom theorists scratched their flea infested arses and decided that the prophecy really meant to count from the death o Christ. Busted again.
1260: Joaqim and Flore calculated that the world would definitely end in 1260. Don’t know why. A dream maybe?
1524: Doom by Flood! OH NO! London astrologers said the END would bring a Noah-like deluge that would begin in London. More than 20,000 persons hightailed out of town. The Prior of St. Bartholomew’s built a well-stocked fortress, expecting to wait it out. Not even a drop of water escaped from the sky on the date predicted, February 1, 1524. Odd, because London usually has rain that time of year. In fact, that year was a drought year. Astrologers convened to cover their tracks and recalculated. “Oh! !@#!$, we were 100 years off!” 1624 came. No rain.
1524 was rife with doomsday predictions. Astrologer Nicolaus (and a lot of other long names following) thought that a conjunction of major planets in Pisces (a water sign) would cause the flood. Wrong! Astrologer, Tannstetter of Vienna said the doomsday was balderdash. He was ignored by the others. astrologer Stoeffler predicted the deluge for February 20. A hundred pamphlets were printed and circulated to tickle the tinglies in fear whores.
The planets in the fearsome line up were Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. Neptune, unknown at the time was also in Pisces. But, Uranus, the Moon, and Pluto were not. He even had the date of the conjunction wrong. It was Feb. 13, not 20.
Because of the strong belief in the deluge, people in Germany built boats. One person, Count von Iggleheim even built an ark. So did the French President. When the time came, it sprinkled. The crowd in Germany went wild, blaming the Count and stoned him to death. Astrologer Stoeffler recalculated and came up with 1528 as the End. People ignored him.
1532: Bishop Nausea proclaimed a series of signs and omens, including black bread falling from the sky, three suns and a flaming castle seen in the sky, bloody crosses appearing, and an eight-year old girl whose breasts spouted warm water. The Bishop should have stayed away from those funny mushrooms.
1533: When Anabaptist Melchior Hoffman’s prediction of doomsday by the Earth bursting into a fire ball fell flat, he was flogged. It seems that the rich and powerful gave away their belongings and money, and forgave debtors. They were understandably miffed when they didn’t rise up into the rapture.
1537, 1544, 1801, 1814: All predictions of doom by astrologer Piere Turrel. Unless I am mistaken and am still in the Matrix, none of his predictions came true.
1572: Panic in the streets after a total solar eclipse and some novas.
1584: Astrologer Leowitz predicted the end of the world, then followed it up with astrological tables dating through the year 1614. Hmmm.
1648: Rabbi Sabbati Zevi came up with the date for the end of the world through interpreting the Kabala. He proclaimed himself the Messiah. When the rapture didn’t happen, he moved it to 1666. Zevi’s life took a curious turn. Before the end of the world, he was captured by the Sultan of Constantinople, sat in prison during the non-armageddon, was converted to Islam and abandoned his claim as Messiah.
1654: A1572 nova convinced physician Roeslin that the world would end in flames in 1654. He died before that time.
1665: Quaker Solomon Eccles proclaimed that the Black Plague was the sign of the End and that it would engulf everyone. When the plague subsided, he was arrested. He escaped and fled to the West Indies.
1704: Cardinal Nicholas de Cusa declared the end of the world. Not!
1719: Mathematician Bernoulli predicted the return of a comet that would destroy the Earth. It didn’t return.
1736: William Whiston predicted a deluge that would start in England. Nary a drop.
1757: Mystic Emmanuel Swedenborg announced that angels had told him that the world would end in 1757. Fortunately, few listened to him. Angels denied everything.
1761: February 8 and March 8 both had earthquakes (28 days apart). Fanatic William Bell predicted that the Earth would crumble in another twenty-eight days. People panicked. When nothing happened, Bell was thrown into a Bedlam, the notorious madhouse.
1774: British cult leader Joanna Southcott announced that she was pregnant with the New Messiah and that the world was coming to an end. She wasn’t pregnant. Joanna disappeared after that.
1820: Prophet Jon Turner took up where Joanna Southcott left off and predicted the end. When the world was still alive after the doomsday, his followers abandoned him.
1874: Charles Taze Russell of the Johova’s Witnesses predicted this date for the End. This has been revised to 1914, then to 1975. Don’t know if there is a new date.
1881: A scattered group of people who believe that the Great Pyramid of Giza holds secrets about the fate of the earth calculated 1881 as doomsday. This was later revised to 1936, then to 1953. They’re still working on the next date.
1881: Prophet and seer Mother Shipton was thought to have written, “The world to an end will come in eighteen hundred and eighty-one.” In 1873, however, it was discovered to be a forgery.
1947: John Ballou Newbrough, self-proclaimed Great Prophet, said in 1889 that the Christian religion would overrun America, hundreds of thousands would be killed and the earth would be demolished.
1974: Two astrologers in the book “The Jupiter Effect” predicted the end of the world due to an alignment of planets. Most reputable astrologers denied that the alignment would cause any trouble. But the authors wouldn’t let anything like common sense stand in the way of book sales.
1977: John Wroe, a filthy mouthed, knuckle-dragger predicted in 1823 that the end would come in 1977. His words were reproduced in a 1971 book, “Prophets Without Honor.”
1980: Jean Dixon, famous seer of the 20th century predicted in 1970 that a comet would crash into the earth in the 1980’s. She also predicted a woman American President in the 1980’s. Wrong on both accounts.
1996: With calculations used by some biblical scholars, the Earth should have ended in 1996.
1999: Infamous Nostradamus wrote: “The year 1999, seven months, From the sky will come a great King of Terror: To bring back to life the great King of the Mongols, Before and after Mars to reign by good luck.”
2000: Sukyo Mahikari said that the world would be annihilated by the baptism of fire. Also, Oklahoma Mennonite preacher Robert Millar predicted Apocolypse.
Some Christian fanatics point out that 2000 divided by 3 equals the devil’s number:66.66666666666667. By my numerology calculations, this adds up to a 7, a very spiritual number.
On May 5, 2000 the alignment of the planets were supposed to destroy the Earth by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and other equally awfulness.
Michael Drosnin, author of “The Bible Code” said that World War III would start and the world would end in an atomic holocaust. Or, 2006. He wasn’t sure.
Pope John XXIII predicted in 1962 that Christ would appear in the sky over New York City, December 25, 2000, triggering Armageddon.
2001: Jack Van Impe Mimistries predicted chaos and destruction and the emergence of a one-world church controlled by demonic hosts. Was he hoping for a position in the church?
2001: Although not strictly speaking an end of the world prediction, this is too good to pass up. Charles Spiegel, a retired psychology professor in California predicted that in 2001, Atlantis would emerge from the sea followed by the coming of 1000 ETs from the planet Myton who will bring new knowledge to humanity. Damn! I missed it.
2011: Rapture on May 21st. Total damnation. No one saved. October 21st, the world destroyed by fire. No Smores. May 21st, The Rapture because it is 7000 years from the flood.
2012: End of Mayan calendar. End of world. Michael Drosnin predicted a comet crashing into the Earth in 2012.
2016: World Weekly News reported that a time capsule left by the doomed Donner party in 1847, predicts the end of the world in 2016. I guess starvation will do strange things to the brain.
2034: Bible researcher John Denton calculated this as the last year for Earth.
2047: The Church of Blair says that the human race will be destroyed at 3:28AM (Soho England time) 2047, September 14.
Soon: Jerry Falwall said, “Soon.” So did the Order of the Solar Temple, the Church of the Final Testament, and the Outer Dimensional Forces.
That is only a partial list of End of the World.
In closing, I want to answer a question that many of you might be asking. If astrology is so good, why were all these people wrong? Because they were either bad astrologers, publicity hounds, looking to make money from a naive public, or delusional religious fanatics bending astrology to fit their probably sexually repressed fantasies about violence and terror. That is my humble opinion anyway.
See you in 2013.
Shameless commerce: If you are interested in learning astrology, I offer a fantastic, wonderful, incredible, terrific, and veerrryy special home study astrology course at http://www.metastudies.com.
I also do charts. Just in case you were wondering. Ahem. Well, by for now.