If you are squeemish, be warned, this is not a pretty article. It deals something that many of us gag and say “Eeewww!” about—Poop. I was once a card carrying “Eeewww!” member but circumstances have forced me to toughen up.
As a child, I wanted to be a nurse, like so many other little girls. My mother shuddered at the thought. “You know that nurses have to wipe people’s butts and clean up poop all day, don’t you?” She said, and with such horror and fear in her voice that I thought being a nurse must be horrible. Touching Poop? Smelling it? Even looking at it? I thought I’d rather be dead.
In my life, the universe has taught me many valuable lessons in the fear and avoidance categories. Every time I have become aware of a prejudice, an irrational fear, or an avoidance that limited my life in any way, the same-said universe has thrown it in my face in a way that can’t be ignored.
A long time ago, I had a snarky attitude about people who were overweight. I though it a weakness on their part and looked down my regal nose at their inability to cope with their problem. When I became conscious of this supercilious attitude, without my even trying, my life was inundated with people of a certain weight-challenged ilk. What a rude awakening I had in store for me.
I always believed that we should not judge others by their appearance, but I obviously wasn’t practicing it all the way. The universe sent these people to me as students, clients, friends, and more. I discovered the most beautiful souls in bodies wrapped in layers of obesity, trying their best to deal with their problems. I also found people who were not looking to change, but accepted their body shape as just the right thing for them. Like a bolt of lightening, I let go.
I now have a hard time looking at anyone and judging them by their body shape. It is freeing and more in keeping with my ethical and moral values. Good-Bye nasty prejudice. Hello, one more chink in my life falling away.
So, what about Poop? For many years, I was a caregiver for my mother. She had dementia. She had bowel problems. I had to get my face in her butt more times than I would like, but it was necessary. I had to clean her behind. I had to help pull things out of her rectum when she was constipated (thank the vinyl glove gods). I had to look, evaluate, and decide if a trip to the doctor was needed. I had to clean up explosions of diarrhea, wipe poop off of the floors when she thought she was done and tried to make her way across the room when I wasn’t looking. I had to shampoo poop out of carpets, change poop-soaked sheets. Yada, yada, yada. (Out of breath from rant above).
So, I found that I didn’t gag, vomit, or even have a twinge when I have to do these things. It is just a part of life. We all do it. We are tubes. Fuel goes in, waste comes out. It’s not so horrible. It just is. My conversion made me feel like I was ready to take on the world. I am free of that aversion.
Oh, yes. I also had cats who pooped, and vomited too. Guess who was in charge of that clean-up job. Mostly me. Although I was ever-so grateful when someone else in the house took it upon themselves to clean up the cat stuff.
Fears, prejudices, and aversions, steal our power, make us withdraw and lessen our ability to enjoy life. When a fear, prejudice, away-from, or aversion is overcome, some of our limitations go too. Overcoming increases our empowerment, adds to our life, and expands our freedom.
I am whacking away at my limitations and trying my best to dive right in to whatever it is that holds me back. When someone says, “You always (or never)…. and it annoys me.” I take a serious look at whether it is something in me to examine, or the other person is just being a jerk (in my opinion).
Maybe it’s a blessing, maybe not. It seems that there is a never-ending river of things to pay attention to in my flawed personality. I am sometimes able to deal with it easily, other times, it takes many years. I have written about my super-nova experience of finally letting go of hating my father. It was a rush like no drug experience I have ever had. After years of working on it, the letting go came in an instant with a flood of joy and relief.
I recommend self-examination, even though it is tough to do. It requires getting outside of our “self” and experiencing our beliefs as a list of adopted ideas to help us cope with life. Unfortunately, so many of us experience our beliefs as TRUTH! My belief about poop as being something so horrible I couldn’t even fathom the idea of ever, ever, ever, looking at it or touching it even through rubber gloves was truth for me until I decided that it wasn’t.
Fortunately, through a study of NLP, Siddhi Yoga, Re Hu Tek, and other nifty things, I have really good tools for self examination. When I am slapped upside the head by the universe enough to be aware of a limiting belief, I have amazing tools to work with. I am eternally grateful for the ability to go into the “possibility” state with a completely neutral, silent mind and explore the task at hand for answers and solutions. Alas, I still have a long road to travel.
Thanks for reading – Anita, Queen of Poop and Vomit.
Any stories of letting go? I’d love to hear.